poster
A suicidal New York Police officer was about to give up everything.
On Christmas Eve in 2001, Dean Simpson boarded a train headed to upstate New York, with his father’s Bible in one pocket and a gun in the other.
Simpson, 35 at the time, had slipped into a deep depression, become an alcoholic and was determined to end his life.
After his father’s death, losing fellow officers in 9/11, being shot and disabled on duty, drifting from his brother, and abandoned by the woman he loved, he felt he had nothing left.
So he bought a one-way ticket to Albany heading for Black Mountain, thinking he would never look back.
Until a jolly stranger sat next to him on the train, handed him a pink note, and changed everything.
Now, 25 years later, he is celebrating Christmas in his Florida home with his soulmate, Diana, and his beautiful, brave police officer stepdaughter, Nathaly.
‘I read [the note] the other day, and I was like, God, it seems like a lifetime ago,’ Dean, now 59, told the Daily Mail.
Dean Simpson, now 59, was given a second chance at life thanks to a kind stranger who slipped him a pink note
A cheerful woman in her 60s began chatting to him and handed him a note that read: ‘Life is a gift meant to be shared. Don’t ever give up hope! Merry Christmas’
Dean’s father died in 2001 and his fellow officers were killed during 9/11 which sent him into an alcoholic depression
The retired cop and Army veteran experienced his own version of It’s a Wonderful Life when he was saved by an ‘angel’ on the Amtrak.
A lively woman in a bright red scarf and Gucci bag sat next to him, sparking a conversation.
Though he was initially snippy, she shared her story and told him about her life in Saratoga and the loss of her doctor husband.
Before the train’s final stop, she handed him a pink note, saying, ‘I don’t know where you’re headed, but when you get there, read this.’
She gave him a hug before they parted ways.
As the veteran made his way along the two-and-a-half-mile trail of Black Mountain, he stopped and pulled out the note.
‘Dean, life is a gift meant to be shared. Don’t ever give up hope! Merry Christmas, Erin,’ it read.
He stared at the note, emptied the gun chamber, and tossed it, heading back down the trail with renewed purpose.
Chapter four of Dean’s book ‘The Blue Pawn’ is about his father. They are pictured together
Dean and his soulmate Diana, they met in Florida and married in 2014, he wrote a book about her life
A quarter of a decade later, he has now rebuilt his life in Florida, dedicating himself to inspiring and helping others.
Dean volunteers with the Palm Beach County Veterans Court, supporting veterans who need guidance and assistance.
‘We’re like a Big Brother mentor. We helped them get through the court system, if they need to find work, if they’re having issues with homelessness,’ he told the Daily Mail.
‘The program is an excellent way to help veterans on the wrong side of the law. The recidivism rate is less than 5 percent,’ Dean added.
Beyond his work with veterans, Dean volunteers as a reading pal in Broward County schools and at his local hospital.
He still keeps Erin’s pink note tucked in his Bible and a a photo of it framed in his office.
The veteran has tried to find Erin since but with no luck.
‘It was just one of those things where, our paths crossed at that particular time,’ he told Daily Mail.
Dean at his daughter Nathaly’s police academy graduation, where she asked him to pin the shield on her
Dean and Nathan Riquelme, one of the students assigned to him in the United Way Reading Pals program
‘I would have loved to have been able to, years later, have another conversation. It would have been a lot different.’
‘A few people reached out to me, and it just wound up being a dead end. It wasn’t until a couple years later I tried doing some tracking but I was unable to ascertain [who she was].’
Dean’s new chapter of life has brought him love, family, and prosperity. He navigated new hills, like marriage and becoming a stepfather.
‘Those things keep me busy, plus I’ve been writing.’
Not just casual journaling, but he published five full-fledged books, with another due to come out late 2026.
The veteran wrote his memoir, ‘The Blue Pawn’, which tells the story of his hardships and how the pink note from a stranger altered his path.
‘I had great success with my first book. I was amazed at how many people reached out to me who were experiencing the same struggles as I was going through,’ he said.
Dean has written theology books and other sentimental works: one about his wife and one about his stepdaughter.
Dean, Judge Ted Booras (presides over the Palm Beach Veteran’s Court) and Vietnam veteran Freddie Solomon, the head coordinator for the Veteran’s Court
Dean signing his book ‘The Blue Pawn’ which detailed his experience on a Christmas Eve when he was going to take his own life
He wrote a book titled: The Blue Pawn: A Memoir of an NYPD Foot Soldier
‘She saved me, and not that anybody should rely on anybody for your happiness, or to get through life, but truthfully, without her, I don’t really have a motivation,’ Dean gushed about his wife.
His book about Diana is titled ‘Gardenia’s Garden: Trusting in God’s Path’. He wrote about her ‘absolute perseverance’ in living in Colombia and making the journey to the US.
‘Out of all my books, it’s the only book I display on my bookcase,’ Dean told Daily Mail.
The book about his daughter is titled ‘Project Nathaly: Learning How to Be a Stepfather Without Completely Screwing Up’.
It is a sentimental account of the rollercoaster ride he experienced while learning to be a stepfather.
‘We never had a bad word towards each other, never had an argument. But it just wasn’t smooth, everything was kind of a struggle,’ Dean said, discussing his relationship with Nathaly growing up.
His stepdaughter didn’t want Dean at her high school graduation, but as college approached, she joined the Army Reserves to pay for school, similar to Dean.
Before she left, he gave her a credit card and returned an envelope of money she had unknowingly been saving with him.
Dean honoring Jim Seleno, World War II fighter pilot veteran, on his 100th birthday. Dean now works closely with veterans
Dean was presented with a plaque for his dedication and service with the Palm Beach County Veterans Court
‘As much of a struggle as it was, I never stopped trusting her,’ he told the Daily Mail.
Things began to mend as Nathaly relied on Dean for advice while away, and when she graduated from the police academy, she asked him to pin her shield on her uniform.
‘My wife started crying, and I was like, “what’s the matter?” She goes, think about it, five years ago, you weren’t invited to her high school graduation, and now you’re going to her police academy graduation, and she asked you to be the one to do the pinning.’
Despite the stranger’s note giving him a second chance, Dean said the holidays are still difficult. Now he knows he isn’t alone, with both family and a therapist to support him.
‘My advice to people that have a difficult time is, I believe in counseling. I believe in talking. I think the worst thing to do is to isolate yourself,’ he told the Daily Mail.
‘Other people can see it easier than you could see it yourself. For people, kind of like me, what I would say is, don’t wait. Because you’re not gonna see it.
‘My advice is to talk to people.’
Dean’s story echoes the 1947 film ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ that sees its main character George Bailey, played by James Stewart, thinking about jumping from a bridge at Christmas.
Dean holding up his book titled Project Nathaly, he wrote about the rocky road he faced becoming a step father
Dean standing on a balcony with one of the six books he wrote titled ‘House Mouse Senate Mouse’
But as he’s ready to plunge, he is rescued by a guardian angel named Clarence who shows him what life would be like for those closest to him without his impact on the world.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call or text the confidential 24/7 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US on 988. There is also an online chat available at 988lifeline.org.
For confidential support on suicide matters in the UK, call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90, visit a local Samaritans branch.
For confidential support in Australia, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
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